i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize