didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
