According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
