He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize