i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
