Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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