Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
