Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Pooping to opera.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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