WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
