Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
