i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
