I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
