office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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