she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
