kristin has been a bad kristin
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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