Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
