Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
