So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
