he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
