my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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