Im at strip club and am horny
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
