y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
