What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
