Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
