Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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