Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
