ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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