Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
