Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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