I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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