did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
