Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
