There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So many bounce houses so little time
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize