you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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