the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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