hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
