i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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