i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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