i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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