butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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