i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
