I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ttyl tear gas
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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