Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
