i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
