Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
