Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
