Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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