she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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