Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
