Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize