I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
