I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
