apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
