there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
