i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
