I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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