If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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