I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
