I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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