Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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