i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
