using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
