Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
