That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
