Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
